For the past month our church has been doing VBS (Vacation Bible School) and I got to be in charge of crafts (Lots of fun). So, this past Sunday there was a slide show of our time with VBS and there I was...much larger than I recall seeing everyday. What is it about seeing yourself on a 32 or 37 in. flat screen in front of your church that causes you to feel so...huge? Oh. Never happened to you? Well, let me tell you...I found some motivation in that moment. Let me give you a little background.
I have an awesome husband who thinks I am sexy even when my clothes are off. (Which astounds me) He tells me I'm beautiful and all these wonderful things every day. So, now, after all this time he has built up this idea in my head that I am sexy, beautiful and all these other wonderful things. Then I see myself...on screen...in front of my church. It blows my body image out the window. I'm hurt and upset, but it's only me. I realize later that I like the idea I have of myself in my head much better than what I saw. So, I'm going to stick with that. (I did, however, go out and buy a bunch of healthy food at the grocery store that day and set up my own limits on what I will be eating for a while.)
In going through this experience I wondered how many other people have a different idea of themselves than what is being portrayed in the physical? Then I think about when I was younger. I look at pictures of myself from middle school or highschool and realize I was not nearly as grotesque as I thought I was at the time, so why did I feel that way? I realize our society has had a lot to do with that. I feel a little cheated looking back and wishing I had held my head higher, but...what are ya gonna do? The past is the past and now here I am at the highest number on a scale I have ever been without being pregnant.
Then I get some other type of wonderful motivation.
WOW!
On a typical day at work I look through msn.com like I'm reading a newspaper. I came across something called the Hundred Pound Club. This appears to be a club of people who have lost 100 lbs. This particular beauty, named Alisha, had reached 256 lbs after having a child and decided she was done being overweight. So she committed herself to losing 100 lbs in a year. AND THERE YOU HAVE IT! If these pictures are not motivating...I don't know what else is. Now, my husband loves me, but when I told him about this club and showed him the pictures he got very excited for my new found zing to cut the pounds. I think maybe I should print this and keep it somewhere. (I have a tendency to forget what I'm working for when the road gets too bumpy. )
Anyway, I've been a little all over the place, but my point is...be happy with who you are. If you aren't...change it. Only you can decide to be happy. Only you can decide if it's gonna be a good day.
I've decided I am happy with who I am, I just want to make some tweaks here and there and if I lose 100 lbs out of my tweaking...I'm good with that.
What is your body image? Have you recently decided to cut the pounds? And if so, what was the deciding factor? What keeps you motivated to stay healthy?
Hey, DJ. It's Amy (from high school). Just thought I'd chime in and share a little bit since I am on my own personal weight loss journey. I'm not on blogger, but I do have an online blog through LiveJournal, which is letting me post a comment.
ReplyDeleteI totally know what you mean about feeling cheated. I remember high school. I was chunky first 2 years, then soccer helped out and junior and senior years I was at a healthy weight. Man, I MISS those days!!!!! I still wasn't happy with my body image then, looking back-- it's just heart breaking.
I've been up and down with my weight since college. The last 5 years it's been a steady upclimb! 2009 was a very difficult year for me-- I got married and my Papa died (I lived with my grandparents during high school-- My Papa was my world). He died the day after my wedding, was on life support about 2 weeks before the wedding (we was supposed to walk me down the aisle). So-- I kind of shut down. I eat to numb and I do it very well. I gained about 30 pounds and continued to hate myself and how I looked. I had to learn how to be a wife, be bigger than I've ever been, and live without my Papa all at once.
Enter-- therapy. I'm a big fan :) I'll wrap up here. Since about Feb of this year I've been working towards getting to a healthy weight. I've lost about 30 pounds since then (give/take a few depending on how my week has gone). I've lost sight for a while but I've recommitted and am back on track. This time my husband is doing it with me. He tried in the beginning but lost interest.
If you'd like to keep up with each other and weight stuff we could email! I'm super open and honest about this stuff and love being a support and getting support.
Amy, thank you for sharing with me. It's good to see the whole weight loss thing is working for someone out there. LOL!
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